It is very easy not to respond and keep our thoughts to ourselves, even if they are negative. It is very easy to get upset, lose our temper, and become hostile towards others. What is not easy is maintaining an assertive approach, avoiding the fight-or-flight reaction, and staying calm. Healthy reactions lead to the formation of a healthy individual. Healthy individuals contribute to the health of the organization.
Remaining calm and assertive in the face of difficulties allows us to be creative, which enables us to make the best decisions.
Traditionally, there are four approaches to communicating with others. Faced with change or, worse, a crisis, people often tend to resort to a particular style. Think about the success or failure of achieving the desired outcome using a certain approach. Here are the styles, accompanied by a description of how people act when using a particular approach in their interaction with others.
Passive
You avoid conflict, avoid eye contact, rarely express your feelings or opinions, sometimes lack confidence, become easily embarrassed, but never complain. You usually conform and are sometimes servile.
Passive-aggressive
You avoid conflict and rarely express your point of view, but you complain to the wrong person at the wrong time. You use silence, guilt, sarcasm, and gossip. You play the role of the victim or martyr. You suppress the outward expression of aggression but channel your anger into passive non-cooperation and obstructing the actions of others.
Aggressive
You are prone to losing your temper, generally stubborn, loud, tactless, and sometimes don’t let others finish their sentences. This type of communication is argumentative and sometimes rejecting. You may appear overly confident, but your self-esteem is low.
Assertive
You express your opinions and feelings openly and honestly without denying the rights and needs of others. You are usually firm without dominating. Communication is calm, without tension or emotional charge. It is direct but not confrontational. You use tact and diplomacy. Assertiveness is when you tell someone “where to go” so nicely that they can’t wait to get there! This style can be described as calm assertiveness.
In short, when we encounter a situation that upsets us, we have four choices, and at that moment, before responding, we decide which style to use.
So the question is: Which approach is most useful to me in this situation?
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